My Education/Life is in shambles, I need guidance?

The question

Before I start, my parents cannot help. They’re deadbeats:
-neither of them graduated from college or high school.
-both have terrible credit (can’t take out government loans, private loans, or co-sign on any type of loans for me)
-my father has been enslaved majority of his life.
-my mother is now 43, and still mutually supporting on her parents
-they have managed to produce 6 kids in total of which I am the oldest, and have been told I must set an example(although I feel I have done so by default which I will clarify later). ages 23(myself), 21(sister), 19(sister), 18(brother), 12(sister), 3(brother) 4/5 of my younger siblings got left back at some point between the 7-9th grade. The 5th one doesn’t count because he’s only 3yrs ancient.)
-my father owes thousands in child-support, has no plans of getting a job, and sells drugs alongside my mothers older brother to make ends meet, with small to no success. He also favors my small brother who is an 18yrs ancient High School drop-out, schizophrenic, and wanna be rapper.
-To add, there is no immediate family (grandparents on both side, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc) who can or is willing to help as well. I’m left strictly to financial aid and private student loans.
-Friends can’t help either.
This is challenging.

In my case, from K-12, I was an average a B+ student who regularly was on the honor roll, and high honor roll (So much for setting an example for both my siblings and friends). I graduated in June 2005 with plans on attending the college of my dreams and graduating on time.

Now let show my higher education and how it’s in shambles:
I got accepted to a tier 3 university of choice, majoring in finance. Degree – never obtained

Attended:
Spring 2006
Fall 2006
Spring 2007
Spring 2010

54.000 – Attempted
27.000 – Earned (to date)
1.52 – GPA (to date)
45 Transferred (from community college)

After being financially unable (even with financial aid) to attend my tier 3 university, I chose to go to my local, inexpensive community college, take my core classes, and upon graduation I’d return to my previous tier 3 and obtain my bachelors in finance. At my local community college I majored in Liberal Arts and received an associates degree in liberal arts (which I’ve read is a worthless major/degree although I don’t believe any degree is worthless) and luckily did re-attend my tier 3 school in spring 2010.

Attended (community college)
Spring – 2008
Summer – 2008
Fall – 2008
Spring – 2009

65.000 – Attempted (at cc alone)
21.000 – Transferred (from tier 3 uni.)
52.000 – Passed (at cc alone)
73.000 – Earned (combined tier 3 uni. & cc credits)
2.76 – GPA (to date)

Between these two schools I didn’t attend School for financial reasons: (so I missed 1.5yrs of education)
Fall 2005
Fall 2007
Fall 2009

I am now 23 and have now been currently attending a tier 4 university, since fall 2010 – present day and am expected to graduate by spring 2012. I know what I want as my major but I’m just miserable with the conditions, as I try and make the best of it.

I’m in despair, because I have amassed about 50000k of debt, all of which I have to pay myself, and there’s more to come for the remaining semesters at my tier 4 school. It hurts everyday I sit in class, being so ancient and indebted, with all the students who seem to have a normal college life.

My mother constantly berates me sayings things like “you’re 23, still in college, with no degree,” and that also hurts because it’s my parent who can barely do a thing for me let alone herself.

Besides continuing my education until I successfully get my bachelors degree, and acting optimistic, I don’t know what to do, I’m frightened, and don’t want to become a bum or go crazy. I have no support whatsoever, and no one to be here for me.

Can anyone read through this a see some light at the end of the tunnel for my situation?

Best answers:

Strike all of the above. You have written the tale of millions of kids who managed to grow up without the guidance of an adult who knew his or her ass from a lettuce leaf. Too terrible. But, somehow, you proved to be made from a stronger substance than they were and get accepted to a university (or three).

Unfortunately, you do not have the matrix to know that yours is already a success tale. You got so much further than the two sacks of protoplasm that gave birth to you. You see non-graduation as a failure. I see it as an abstacle you still have to overcome and you have already beated the odds by miles.

You owe $ 5000? Chump change when you look at it as a percentage of your earning potential once you get your degree. Keep plugging. Don’t worry about the debt. Get the degree as quickly as you are able but your age ius irrelevant. My friend went back to law school at age 43 and started a new career at age 46. So what? That is what he wanted to do and he did it.

Life has no guarantees but no limits either. I came out of a community where death by violence was an nearly every night feature. Criminality was a chosen profession for a majority of the males and prostitution was the road taken by most of the females. I worked my way through college doing anything (legal) I had to do to get there. I drove a cab at night to earn enough to make it work. It ruined my sleep pattern which never returned to normal but I finished up doing work that saved lives, saved more than the average person because I never learned how to spend money and now I’m retired in Miami Beach and writing my fourth book — the other three were published by major publishing houses.

I still can’t sleep more than 3 – 4 hours a night but who cares? I get to live more conscious hours of life than the average bear.

Get off your own case and give yourself some credit where it is due. You were born with a fine mind. Now you need to learn the value system that will get you to a healthy and reasonable goal. With a degree, your odds are about 10 – 1 in your favor that you will have a positive life. Your family will not respect you for that. Who cares? This is about you developing an appreciative of how the system really works, not how losers who want a free ride perceive it. You have learned that but you stilll see through the eyes your family taught you to have.

You are not the oldest of 6 kids. You are an adult who is responsible for getting on with life and but long it takes — it takes.

Bless you and work hard. It will come. Judge yourself as having passed the life test with flying colors, not as a failure just because you didn’t graduate yet. You will get there when you get there and it will taste just as fine.

First off, your tale is heart-breaking. You live a really tough and hard life… and in that I congratulate on 1) making honor roll and really wanting to learn, 2) attending a college to better yourself and earn a degree, and especially 3) not giving up… You’ve gone through so much already, you can’t give up now. I’d say to continue what your doing at your tier 4 college… you’re seriously one of the most firm people I’ve heard of… And I’m sure you know this, but you should schedule an appointment with your counselor once every Semester at least! They’re there to help you! They can guide you in paying off your debt, choosing the right classes, and helping set you up with a job even as far as I’ve heard. You’re doing incredible… seriously. Don’t reckon of the negatives like debt, and your Mother’s negative words to you. Reckon of how much you’ve surpassed them, coming from very small. The debt can be solved too. Talk to your counselor about it really they will help.
So just cool down, keep doing what you’re doing as it has gotten you SO far already, and take everything step by step. Place your parents on a lower priority level, and place yourself first. Find the help you need to pay off the debt, and continue your schooling. Prove to your Mother that you will get your degree because you CAN. And never forget your roots… you came from a family of 9 total, not in the best background to be raised, and look at you now… you’ve pushed yourself far enough that you’re enrolled in a tier 4 college, and are on your way to getting a Bachelors degree. Look back on that as means to keep pushing forward. I believe in you. I know you can do it. Don’t be frightened at what lies in the future, focus on the now because you’re better being is what matters most. Trust me, you’re doing really excellent… keep it going… don’t give up, please.

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